When facing hardship, optimistic people always try to find ways to make themselves happy again and keep emotional pain away. Pleasuring yourself is the truest form of self-love. Because of financial bankruptcy and a lifelong disability, life had already become dull and meaningless for Kiel.
On a sunny day, Kiel went to see a pastor. After patiently listening to Kiel’s story, the pastor said, “Let me show you something.” He pointed out the window. There was a row of tall maple trees, and between the trees hung some old, rough ropes.
He said, “Sixty years ago, the owner of this estate planted these trees. He stretched many thick ropes between them. For the young and fragile trees, this was extremely cruel, because the damage lasted a lifetime. Some trees faced this harsh reality and struggled against their fate, while others passively cursed their destiny, and the outcomes were completely different.
The tall maple trees in front of us show no visible scars. What we see instead is that the ropes have been absorbed into the trunks—almost as if they drilled holes through them. It is truly a miracle.”
“I have thought a lot about these trees,” the pastor continued. “Only a strong life force within can overcome lifelong wounds like those caused by ropes, instead of destroying this precious life itself. For humans, there are many ways to relieve distress. In times of pain, talk to a friend or find something to do. When dealing with misfortune, we should maintain a clear and objective understanding, and try to let go of emotional burdens such as resentment and jealousy. Perhaps the most important and also the most difficult thing is this: you should make every effort to please yourself and truly love yourself.”
Whether one can overcome obstacles, setbacks, and hardship depends on each optimistic person’s own method.
1. Shift away from negative emotions
When something unpleasant happens or you argue with family members, you may temporarily leave the situation, change your environment, talk with others, or take part in recreational activities. In short, shift your attention elsewhere. Only by weakening and removing negative emotions can you restore emotional calm and stability.
2. Look forward to a better future
Only by regularly imagining a better future can a person maintain a positive and motivated mindset. No matter where fate places you, you should face it calmly. No matter how harsh reality is, you should still believe that difficulties will eventually be overcome and that light lies ahead. Believe that the future will be better.
3. Remember the good, let go of the pain
In life’s journey, there are times full of thorns and times full of flowers; moments of deep sorrow and moments of joy. We should carefully filter these experiences and not allow sadness, fear, anxiety, or confusion to trouble us. We should often recall happy and beautiful memories so they create ripples in our hearts and inspire us to move forward. At the same time, unpleasant events and worries should be erased from the mind as much as possible. We must not let shadows cover our hearts and take away our motivation.
4. Positive self-suggestion
For example, stand in front of a mirror and say to yourself:
“I am the best! I will succeed!”
5. Be kind to yourself
Learning to treat yourself kindly is very important. It means allowing yourself to make mistakes. As the saying goes, “No gold is pure, no person is perfect.” Who can go through life without making mistakes?
After reflecting on lessons learned, you should comfort yourself. Even if the mistake was caused by your own actions, do not be overly harsh on yourself. Learn to be kind and forgiving. Often tell yourself: “Let the past be the past; everything starts anew.”
Only in this way can you develop a healthy mindset and live an optimistic life.