Mark Twain

"If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything."

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"I can last two months on a good compliment."

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"I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it."

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"I have made it a rule never to smoke more than one cigar at a time."

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"Grief can take care of itself, but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide it with."

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"Habit is habit, and not to be thrown out of the window by any man, but coaxed downstairs a step at a time."

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"Honesty: The best of all the lost arts."

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"Get your facts first, and then you can distort 'em as much as you please."

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"Good breeding consists in concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person."

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"Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life."

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