Mark Twain

"I asked Tom if countries always apologized when they had done wrong and he said: "Yes: the little one does.""

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"Let us endeavor so to live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry."

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"There are those who scoff at the schoolboy, calling him frivolous and shallow: Yet it was the schoolboy who said 'Faith is believing what you know ain't so'."

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"Customs do not concern themselves with right or wrong or reason. But they have to be obeyed; one reasons all around them until he is tired, but he must not transgress them, it is sternly forbidden."

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"Deep down in me I knowed it was a lie and He knowed it. You can't pray a lie-I found that out."

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"′Classic′ - a book which people praise and don't read."

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"In certain trying circumstances, urgent circumstances, desperate circumstances, profanity furnishes a relief denied even to prayer."

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"Well, there was a sort of bastard justice in his view of the case, and so I dropped the matter. When you can't cure a disaster by argument, what is the use to argue?"

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"If I were to construct a God I would furnish Him with some way and qualities and characteristics which the Present lacks."

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"The history of our race, and each individual's experience, are sown thick with evidence that a truth is not hard to kill and that a lie told well is immortal."

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