Grow with Grace. Live with Purpose.

Humor Quotes

“I always take Scotch whiskey at night as a preventive of toothache. I have never had the toothache; and what is more, I never intend to have it.”

“She said all a body would have to do there [Heaven] was to go around all day long with a harp and sing, forever and ever.”

“He would be a consul no doubt by and by, at some foreign port, of the language of which he was ignorant; though if ignorance of language were a qualification he might have been a consul at home.”

“Be respectful to your superiors, if you have any.”

“I am opposed to millionaires - but it would be dangerous to offer me the position.”

“Ignorant people think it is the noise which fighting cats make that is so aggravating, but it ain't so; it is the sickening grammar that they use.”

“If a cat sits on a hot stove, that cat won't sit on a hot stove again. That cat won't sit on a cold stove either. That cat just don't like stoves.”

“The lack of money is the root of all evil.”

“April 1. This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty-four.”

“If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much.”

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